🕺🏻 When Love Feels Like Attack

I haven’t had time to write a full newsletter this week. Work’s been intense, even by my standards. I’ll share more about what I’m working on next time. For now, here’s a raw piece from my recent journaling about relationships.

Nothing hurts more than being attacked by the person you love when you’ve done nothing wrong. They snap. You didn’t deserve it. Maybe they’re tired, insecure, or triggered by something else entirely. It’s not about you, but you’re in the way. I've been on both sides of this situation.

Now you’ve got two paths.

The common one: you defend yourself. You explain how unfair it was. You push back. But they were already in pain. That’s why they lashed out. Now they feel even worse: unseen, unheard, alone.

The rare one: you see it for what it is, a cry for help. They walk in, distant, maybe cold. They start picking a fight. But instead of reacting, you hug them. You say something kind, something soft. And the fight dissolves. They exhale. They tell you what’s really going on.

So why don’t we do this more often?

Two reasons. First, we have no buffer. We’ve been running all day, caffeinated, overstimulated, tense. There’s no space between trigger and reaction. Second, unhealed shame. Even a soft critique cuts deep. We spiral into defense. Nnot because we’re angry, but because we feel not enough.

The real work is this: build space inside. Calm the nervous system. Heal what needs to be healed. The more energy we have, the more grounded we are and the more love we can give. Even when it’s hard.

Until next Sunday,
George Levin
^{LinkedIn | Consulting}